Picture
by 23blenders
Summary: Pit and Dart have a vicious, merciless fight. In writing.


Palutena happened to be passing by the twins' rooms one day when she noticed something that she hadn't seen in awhile.

It was a photo, pinned to the wall outside the doors to the bedrooms. Before examining the photo more closely, she took a moment to nurse her irritation at the hole the pin left in the wall. Then she turned her attention to the picture.

It was a photo of both angels, taken shortly after Dart had come to live in Skyworld. In it, Pit had thrown his arm around Dart's shoulders, and Dart had a hand on Pit's arm, looking like he was trying to push it off. Pit looked gleeful, Dart slightly irritated.

Palutena smiled at the photo and pulled it off the wall. As soon as she unstuck the pin, however, a folded piece of paper fell down. She bent to pick it up as she absently flipped the picture over to look at the back, where she'd written their names.

There it was: Pit and Pittoo.

She stood back up with the paper and frowned. There was more handwriting, that wasn't hers.

-Apparently Palutena needs to be reminded of who we are. Or she thinks we need to be told, for some reason.

-Yeah, Lady Palutena. I know who these people are. It's me'n Pittoo.

-…Do you both seriously not recognize me? I don't know who this 'Pittoo' character is, but that picture clearly depicts Dark Pit and a moron.

-Well, I don't usually refer to myself as 'Dark', but whatever floats your boat. I have to intervene here, though. You really shouldn't insult yourself that way, Pittoo. No need to call yourself a moron.

-You're in denial. And we're out of room. I'll finish insulting you on the piece of paper I'm attaching.

Palutena stared at the bottom of the photo for a moment, then looked at the paper. She unfolded it, and found it had more writing and drawing on it.

-Anyway, you're clearly projecting. You know you're the moron, and you're denying it by calling me one. I'm an understanding person though. I won't kill you for this, I'll merely maim you.

-You keep telling yourself that, Pittoo. Really, though, you should talk to someone about your self esteem issues. You shouldn't bottle up feelings like that.

-The only feeling I'm bottling up is rage.

-Holding in anger is unhealthy, Pittoo.

-You're right. Thank you for volunteering.

-Alright. Lie here, on this couch. (there was a crudely drawn sofa here)

-OK. I'll set my Deadly Cannon of Death here by the couch. (now there was a stick figure Pit drawn, in a chair with a stupid expression and Dart on the couch with a smirk. As promised, there was a strange shape that she assumed was supposed to be a cannon)

-Hello, Pittoo. What shall we talk about first, Pittoo? Hey, Pittoo, why don't you tell me what you have to be angry about? Pittoo? Talk to me, Pittoo. Pittoo. Pittoo. PITTOO. Pittooey. Pittoo. Hehe, Pittoo.

-Right. *shoots Pit with cannon* (a dead stick figure angel, with Dart's stick figure laughing)

-Well, that was rude. Didn't anyone ever teach you manners?

-How are you not dead?! I shot you with a cannon! This one! (a more detailed cannon had been drawn)

-Simple. I'm better than you.

-Is that so? (Dart was shown giving Pit a death glare)

-Yes. The sooner you accept this, the better.

-You wanna take this outside? (stick figure Dart had his fists up)

-Is this how it's gonna be?! (stick figure Pit struck an identical pose)

Then commenced the most epic stick figure battle ever drawn. Palutena was smiling at this point. Then the narration started up again.

-*choking on blood* I'll never give up! *tries and fails to get back up* (Pit was shown lying on the ground. There were scribbles that she supposed were blood)

-Haha! I have defeated you! (Dart struck a victory pose)

-Fratricide! You monster! You've killed your only brother! *coughs dramatically*

-*looks uncomfortable* (Dart was now looking at the downed Pit)

-This is it! Tell Lady Palutena I said… (stick figure Pit was shown with Xs for eyes)

-*tosses drink of the gods at Pit and walks away with arms folded*

-*does nothing, as I am dead*

-*sighs dramatically and turns around* You need help with that, Pit?

-Dude. I'm dead. I can't really hear you.

-Of course you need my help. You can't do anything without me. Here, drink this. (Dart is shown crouching next to Pit)

-I'm dead.

-Drink it anyway.

-Ugh. Making me do all the work. *takes drink of the gods*

-*watches Pit*

-OH MY GOD I'M ALIVE! (Pit is shown standing with his arms in the air, Dart is crouching and looking up at him)

-I totally didn't expect that to work! Drinks of the gods not being known for raising people from the dead and all!

-I don't forgive you at all for killing me.

-But I helped you!

-Only after I shamed you!

Here, the writing stopped. Palutena chuckled and pinned it all back up and left. A few days later, she happened to look down that hallway as Pit scribbled something on the paper. Dart was standing nearby, and his eyes slowly narrowed as Pit wrote. Suddenly, he took the pencil from Pit and shoved him aside. He began to write furiously on the paper.

She shook her head with a smile and left them to it as Pit tried to wrest the pencil from his twin's hand.

* * *

**Although this is a humor piece, the reason I wrote it isn't humorous. You see, I wanted to write something for RedNemi, who is my youngest sister. I can't really write something I consider to be beautiful, so I wrote something I knew she'd laugh at if she could read it.**

**You see, RedNemi died on the morning of January 16th. She was only 17 years old. Nobody saw it coming, nobody knew our days with her were numbered. We are all in complete shock. I've spent the last few days thinking of all the things I expected we'd do or discuss together, that will never happen now.**

**She hadn't written anything in almost a year, and deleted all but one fic recently. But she still reviewed from time to time. And she has a deviantart under the same name, which I may or may not say something on. It depends.**

**Because of this, I have no idea what kind of schedule I'm keeping with my other fic. I had a terrible time trying to figure out something to write for her, and I mostly put this here for my own benefit. It may or may not amuse you, but this is a type of humor that she definitely would have gotten. We had conversations of this sort on facebook from time to time.**

**Sorry for the morbid note.**


End file.
